THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
