why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
