Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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