You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
