after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
