Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
