I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
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