i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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