my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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