your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
