I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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