DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
