I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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