wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
