I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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