Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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