He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
