so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
