my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
