I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
