its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
