my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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