"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
