I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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