mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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