you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
