So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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