He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
