he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
