So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
