I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
