i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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