The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
