2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
