Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
