I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
