party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she peed on how many people?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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