What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
my being single is dangerous.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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