I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
