You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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