U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
