He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
