so that wasnt chicken after all
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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