So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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