So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
vagina is talking i cant
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
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He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
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ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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