dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
