Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
