Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
