man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
