I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
