I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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