wat bout pragnant strippers??
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
