I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
