Got a toothbrush?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sobbing to NWA
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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