i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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