Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize