just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
