i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
