Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
