I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
