If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize