please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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