dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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