I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
