everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
