i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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