two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
