Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
